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Look, Ma, here’s how we break the prisoners!
(It’s like frat hazing only better.)
Here’s how we hang them upside down
The hood’s so they don’t know what’s happening.

Look, Sis, here’s how we force them into a pyramid.
(It’s a bit like bondage, only rougher.)
They don’t have clothes on because that’s so much funnier.
We laugh so much when they squirm about!

Look, Dad, here’s me introducing the dog to a detainee.
(It’s like boot camp, only they can’t quit.)
Those jaws are a whole inch from his face, see?
See how I had to hold on really tight?

Look, Sis, here we are doing waterboarding.
(It’s like surfing, except they aren’t in control.)
You should see how they gasp for air
Just before we put them back under.

No Ma, it’s OK, all this stuff.
(It’s like it’s no problem, except for them maybe.)
You can tell it’s OK because
In all those photos I’m grinning,
Grinning at the camera
Grinning for you back home,
Grinning for the fun of it
Grinning so widely that someday it might crack.

20th March 2007