The Lurkers Support Me In Email

 

To the tune of “My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean”.

The lurkers support me in email
They all think I’m great don’t you know.
You posters just don’t understand me
But soon you will reap what you sow.

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see.

Oh it’s true, and you know they support me.
There’s thousands of lurkers out there!
They all understand my intentions
you posters are not being fair!

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see

The lurkers support me in email
“So why don’t they post?” you all cry
They’re scared of your hostile intentions
they’re not as courageous as I.

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see

One day I’ll round up all my lurkers
we’ll have a newsgroup of our own
without all this flak from you morons
my lurkers will post round my throne.

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you’ll see, you’ll see
off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you’ll see.

Jo Walton, 16th May 1998

(Originally posted on the usenet newsgroup rec.arts.sf.fandom, back in the late Paleolithic. This is the single most quoted thing I have ever written. And yes, you have permission to repost it wherever you want, but please keep my name on it.)