Two different takes on the classic Nigerian Spam:
1) I am the merry widow of Nigeria’s former president,
My son has been arrested and in prison he is resident,
I never would approach you if it wasn’t for one incident:
They’ve frozen all our bank accounts, we cannot touch a single cent!
The bad police are watching me and all my movements they resent,
Send details of your bank account, I’ll send one trusted dissident,
I know that I can trust an honest guy like you to implement
My cunning plan to stash away three million bucks for ten percent!
2) “Young was I married to Abacha,
Loaf-giver, wise counsellor, bestower of rings,
Gifter of gold endless-flowing,
Great King of Niger,
Father of my children; his bones lie scattered.
Young was I married to Abacha.
Loud did I wail at Mohammed’s birthing.
Louder my wails now; in chain-hung dungeon
Our foes have cast my strong son, cunning,
Fearing his vengeance,
Fearing to stand before his spear.
Loud did I wail at Mohammed’s birthing.
Nothing am I now, an old worn widow,
A breathing ghost, creeping and mouthing
Watched by my enemies,
Kept as a slave to show their power,
Without child, with single hope.
Nothing am I now, an old worn widow.
High in the hills lies our hidden treasure.
I dare not go, my steps are counted.
Strong stranger, seek it, bring it to me.
With Mohammed set free, he will reward you.
As pledge of return, I ask your arm-rings.
High in the hills lies our hidden treasure.”
3rd July 2005
